A Toastmaster Christmas

by Mary K Spencer

Twas the night before Christmas at the Toastmaster Club,

No members were present, they were all at the Pub.

The stockings were hung by the lecturn with care.

No goodies inside because no one was there.

At the tavern, the Toastmasters posed with their beers,

Shouting their toasts full of holiday cheers.

Lawyers Sean, Carl and George passed out cards posting bail,

In case a drunk member might end up in jail.

When outside the Pub, there arose such a clatter.

The toastmasters ran out to see what was the matter.

As they looked out the window, what a strange sight appeared,

A giant sized sleigh with 8 giant reindeer.

The jolly old driver wound up in the thicket.

Police chief Jerry Paul went over to issue a ticket.

“Not a wise move,” said Santa with a sneer.

And Jerry got stomped by 8 giant reindeer.

Nurse Mary K. swiftly came to his aid,

Where in a pile of snow, Jerry pitifully laid.

Not seriously injured, Jerry rose to his feet,

Tore up the ticket and admitted defeat.

Santa thanked him and with a twist of his head,

Jerry instantly knew he had nothing to dread.

Accountants Bill and Brent took an inventory of the toys in his sacks,

To make sure Santa paid the appropriate tax.

Howard the Grinch picked out items to buy,

But Santa’s prices were waaaaay too high.

Muttering to himself of the prices he’d pay,

Howard returned all the packages into the sleigh.

The Toastmasters helped Santa get his sleigh back on track,

So he could deliver the toys in his sack.

But before he departed, they assigned him a role,

A 5 minute speech about the north Pole.

While the Toastmasters chose an evaluator,

Santa took off and yelled “See ya’all later.”

“I’ll be back again this time next year.

If you want me to speak, you will need lots of beer.”

Mary K Spencer….South County Toastmasters

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